Epilepsy. Yes. Can you believe it? The brain is a box of surprises! 

It happened around two months ago.
I was feeling dizzy, a bit spaced out, at least once every two days. My mood changes were driving me crazy. I was going from happy and in balance, to sad and in doubt, and then again feeling joyful, and then again sad. Usually I get a bit down during my pre-menstrual period, but this was not at all that feeling. It was a rollercoaster emotional ride.

The symptoms would disappear for two or three days once I would do breathwork, but then again, down, sad, in doubt, with crazy thoughts torturing me. I thought things were getting a bit hard to handle and decided to go and consult a neurologist. I found one that was recommended as the best in town.

 
It was my first time in a neurologists’ practice.
It was not easy to ask for the appointment and go. I thought that as a healer I shouldn’t need this kind of help. But I took the step anyway, trusting that her knowledge would complete mine. 

 

I thought: “You never know where what you need will come from Rakel – be open”.

There I was sitting in front of a tall, important, very kind woman. She observed every gesture I made, my eyes, the way I was moving my hands, my pauses, everything. It was weird to be observed, when usually I’m the one observing people.

We talked for half an hour about my symptoms. She asked questions. I answered. She ordered some tests. I did them. A month later I was back. With the tests in the hand she asked me:
 
 
— How many epilepsy attacks have you had already?
 

— None

— But look, it seems that during the test itself you had a big attack.

— I have never had an attack. Not even a little weird shaking.

 

The doctor was quite surprised. She repeated several times “I don’t get it, you should be shaking on the floor with this level of brain epileptic behaviour. This brain waves show that your attacks are really strong, so I don’t get it”.

 

The doctor was quite surprised. She repeated several times “I don’t get it, you should be shaking on the floor with this level of brain epileptic behaviour. This brain waves show that your attacks are really strong, so I don’t get it”.

 
I said “Maybe meditation has to do with that? I practice every day”. 
 
She said, “nah, it’s really too much. In any case I won’t medicate you…I can’t medicate you if you haven’t had an attack. Keep doing what you are doing, it seems to be working. And keep a track of your mood changes, we will look at that in more detail. See you in two months.”

Coming out from the practice I cried.
I was scared and sad. I said to myself how can I help anyone heal having such a thing myself. All the stigma that society has about brain illnesses got activated in me and triggered doubts about continuing my work and about how this could affect my life.I kept doing breath work. I kept meditating. But doing less private consultations, and dedicated more energy to figuring out what I would do next…making piñatas maybe?
 
One day during a breath work session that I did on myself I saw it all clearly. I felt the typical tingling sensation that the oxygen flowing through my bloodstream creates. I felt at total peace. I understood that my epilepsy was making me more empathic than ever. More able to connect, read and trust the reading of my energy and other people’s energy. And this new condition made me more passionate and curious for this research that I have been involved in for decades…finding how energy moves, and how we can transform our energy and reality at will, through love and compassion, not through force. 
 
I understood that more than ever this work was important, for me and for all of those that are going through big transformations and stress. All of those that are feeling stuck, heavy, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, scared, drained, and more. That my epilepsy was a gift, the key to more connection and expansion. A new opportunity to love myself whole as I am. I also understood how important meditation and conscious breathing are on my path. They have saved me.
 

So instead of closing myself and feeling sorry, I decided to share the story and the process with you as well as all I know about breathing and energy work that has allowed me to navigate my emotions and brain behaviour in such a relatively effective way. I’m sharing all I know about reducing the stress in your body, mind and emotions through breathing so no matter what you are going through, you can grow and expand enjoying the ride. This is a work in progress that will be enriched by the exchange with you.

For that I’m now creating an online training on breathing that has information that I have never taught before. Juicy, very practical information learned in my years with tantric monks, and throughout my life. Information that when applied can really change your life for the better. Because it touches your core, your prana, your basic energy, and opens you to something bigger than yourself.

Oh, and it seems that my epilepsy is hereditary, and a few members of my lineage have gone through this or other modalities of brain challenges with hard consequences. In energy work it is said that your own healing can clear out your past generations and future ones. I find that fascinating, that all the healing work we do has such an impact. I’m going for it. Growing together will certainly make the world a better place. Do you want to join me? Click here to receive more information about my course. 

I’m sharing this knowledge from the heart, knowing how stressful and harsh life can sometimes be. And how it takes only one conscious breath to make a shift to joy and fulfilment.

If you are in Berlin and you are a woman, I’ll see you at my next session on February 28th at Yogazentrum, Schöneberg. We will be working on all of this…how to make the best use of your prana, your life force, how to breath for your advantage. Join here to benefit from the early bird price that ends on the 20th of February. 

I wish you a lovely Valentines day. Remember that the most important thing is to love yourself with all your crazy thoughts and all your imperfection. Imperfections are your trampoline, propelling you upwards to the best version of yourself.

Much love,

Signature Rakel

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